I have one question.
That’s been digging trenches in my mind.
Hollowing out all the empathy, the faith,
the blind addiction to sourcing a better humanity;
better lovers, stronger fighters,
stunning believers, more tender hearts.
With actual effort to beat on their own.
Your exclamations are false, always.
And I can tell you why
my shell is caked in your muddy, rotting stink of fake facts.
I’m cracked, embittered, roughened edges capable of paper-cut slicing skin
and all my lovely scars can tell you something you hardly believe.
I’m here to tell you why.
And why I hate how you make me feel this way;
a cynical coil of seething, jilted, passion, to fix what I can’t.
For all those who make hearts melt and weep,
shed heat and fire in rapturous thoughts and darkened, tainted dreams;
for all the single words you used as tools to build up walls,
break down my walls,
deceive me into caring about you
who chisels into only getting the gem he wants.
You can collapse a mine on me for all you care
in the end.
For all those who can make devilishly delightful
fantasies for all the vulnerable loners,
like us all when we shut our eyes,
to hover and circle over, beg for on our backs,
naked and open and bleeding raw beneath you
like ritual sacrifices for some higher purpose, some higher hopes and
goals and unwavering loyalties
my dearest demon behind every salvation;
You are the emotional abusers that gravitate in my orbit,
and I can’t seem to dislodge your planets from my line.
I admit, you got me high off some stunning shit.
For all those gentle, perpetually unavailable, curious beings
vacationing deep away inside
if only you would let me try and reach you, for you
to bring out all the best in me back;
before you close up like sealing a scar
We are left in a continual loop of back and forth and sideways,
hovering through open, closing doors
elevator rides to the same living routine, breaths, steps,
burdened heavy heart and raw eyelids
bruised red and blue in swollen tears
when you can never emerge from yourself to realise I’m right here
For those that run around, commanding disciples, throwing the weight of luck,
fortunate coincidences, helping fools sabotage and kill for existence,
licking off frosting,
dwelling in your own superiority,
I see your ruse.
Painting pristine pictures
with the lift of a finger
selling illicit jealousies and spite
from the back of your 24/7 Facebook page.
You make us understand the reality of one-sided loyalties,
the critical unfair rulings of want and have,
divided and mixed between people,
achievements hard fought for like precious land
and ownerships of better peoples
determined by the infernal number of people you know.
I do have one question for you.
Why are you like this?
An why must we all break apart alone in
the boiling pressure of it all?
Forget the next night.
Wait for the return.
*Artwork unknown- Pinterest*