Flailing limbs and burdened hearts,
made heavy in the leaden air,
all silence and endless questions,
running off the walls.
Trying to make sense,
from long forgotten body language,
words and fluid messages,
lost spellbound to a sea of worries.
Will you still be there when I wake?
Can I hold your hands in mine now?
What is your reasoning for disappearing?
Is it time for me to let go, because you already
have released your threads, cut the strings and
tied the loose ends?
I circle your reasons like a hungry bird,
circling and devouring the strength from the land below,
for all these stormy days and listless nights,
left defenceless in bed and devoid of touch.
I only wish I knew your why.
A hungry heart left with scraps as morsels of
dried up affection and cracked pieces of disappointment.
I have turned over every piece left, trying to salvage the decay
I was once strong and beautiful in your wake.
I smelled of fresh sweetness yet burnt hot as newborn flames.
I only why you abandoned your beauty?
I wonder why you left your stunning creation behind?
The one thing you didn’t take with you,
along to new hands and new hearts,
is my ability to be me.
I can still circle like a vulture in flight,
but I can also soar and sing like no woman yet
to touch her feet to this earth.
For all the reasons I still don’t understand.
For all the reasons you spoke and the volumes you
left unsaid, words brandished between us like knives
yet to pierce skin,
for all the reasons you left trailing behind your choice…
At least I know you helped strengthen me.
You gave me the room to spread wings,
You gave me the light to paint my colours by,
you gave me the boldness to reach out for new lovers,
and you gave me the endless questioning I seek to answer.
Only you, could have been responsible for such worries.
Only you, can still be responsible for such worries yet still to appear.
That is your lasting message scrawled across my skin.
*Artwork by Rachael Pace*